Last night I ordered out. I gorged myself on salad and some pasta from one of my favorite places. I am afraid to step on the scale these days. I know it's up even further than last week. I want to win the lottery and have the surgery...It'd be the very first thing I'd do with the money. But until then I guess I'd better get with it.
It has of course dawned on me recently that I hate myself, hate the way I look, hate where I am at in my life, and I really hate my job these days. If I can harness all that hatred, maybe I can make an improvement and if that happens, maybe I won't be so down about the job all the time.
