Now a positive note from our sponser

I put on a size 20 skirt today and wore it all day without ripping out any seams. That's a plus.

Waiting to die

I have to get this weight off. Ever feel like you are just waiting to die? I often find myself saying to myself "when I lose the weight"...now it doesn't really stop me from doing all that much that I want to do..but it often feels like I have this vision of how the life will go once its off. Unreal expectations, maybe..

What prompted this doom and gloom, you ask? I had to contact an old friend for something. Only to hear she's got a new house in the works, working full time, blogging, has her own website, is teaching part time online courses, and has written 2 books since I've talked to her last.

God I feel like a failure.

Number Crunch

I firmly believe that there is a fundamental difference between people that have weight issues and those that do not. No, not the obvious differences. I'm talking about how one relates time to something else in our head. I think that non-weighty people view events in terms of age or years. "When we went to San Francisco, I was 32 years old." or "When we vacationed in Turkey it was 2008."

But people that have weight issues relate events to their weight. Or maybe it's just me that does that but I really doubt it. So my current goal is 260 and here is what I can relate to the 260 number.
260 is the weight:

• I was at when I moved to Seattle
  
• My lowest while dating Brian
  
• My surgery weight
  

Legs, Thighs, Breasts, and Wrists?

So my roundness is a little less round. I keep track of my weight on a calendar that hangs on my bathroon door. I look at those numbers and can't believe they are going down. I don't feel like I'm in those numbers - I feel higher. But my clothes support those number changes. My favorite periwinkle blue tank top? The straps won't stay up on my shoulders. That's good because when my weight is up, I feel like a linebacker with these broad shoulders. So they've gotten smaller. Also, my wrists have gotten smaller along with my fingers. Now, my head knows its proportionate weight loss all over, but really?? My wrists? Can't it come from somewhere else first?