New Low

Highest: 345
DOS: 329
Current: 274

It's taken me a while to get back on track. I've been up and down the 270s for several weeks now. More than several actually. I've really had a hard time staying away from carbs. Not just because I crave them, which I do, but because more and more I am becoming meat-free. I can't do eggs anymore, they make me vomit every time, and meat is such a turn off for me. So I indulge in the carbs. I'm trying to get back to some veggies and protein shakes right now and it seems to have kickstarted me once again into losing some more. I AM NOT DONE LOSING - I have to keep reminding myself when I get down that I paid for this surgery myself (with mom's help) and I cannot be done yet. I hit my 6 month mark recently and while disappointed with the numbers, I feel so much better than I did at 329 or 345. Must keep reminding myself that it will only get better as the numbers go down more.

Ten Things Thursday

Catching up here:

1. Hit a new low today of 277.6. Slow but steady going. Unlike the 6 weeks that I spent in a stall earlier this summer.

2. Must try harder in the next 3 weeks. I have a wedding to attend and I will be seeing family that I haven't seen since Christmas (at 320 pounds). I'd like to shred off about 13.6 pounds which would put me at my lowest weight since living in Florida (6 years). It's possible if I live on protein shakes and work out/walk daily.

3. I'm having a tattoo laser-removed and today the itchiness has set in. I have to say it's about the worst pain I've ever experienced (the actual treatment - not the itchiness). For 2 minutes it makes me feel like I'm going to pass out. But the results are starting to show after 3 treatments now. I paid for another 3 since they were offering a price break. I'm hoping after the 6, it'll be gone. Dumb dumb thing I did. It's going to cost me at least 3x what I paid for it to have it removed. What was I thinking that day?

4. Saw a bicycle accident this morning. The car won. I hope the woman is ok. She took a bad fall.

5. My mom is considering another shoulder surgery. At 81, I hope this goes well for her. Her April surgery didn't seem to help. This worries me.

6. We have an office farter. 'Nuff said. At least its not me.

7. I'm going to the Bok Tower Gardens this weekend with a friend and her son. Should be a good time.

8. My heart goes out to my dear friend Valerie who just lost her 41 year old husband to unknown causes. It's a heart wrenching story. She's a strong soul though. She will carry on and have a good life.

9 and 10. Pictures from last weekend. Went to MOSI in Tampa for a mummies exhibit and then ate at Taco Bus. Had the most amazing butternut squash tostada. Must see if I can replicate the recipe sometime. Moday was spent at Silver Springs and was a good time. A small outdated "theme park" --not by today's standards but back in the day, I could see the appeal. Was still a good time.

Take care all and happy Friday-eve!

Catching up

279.2

Well I finally hit the 270's. It's been about 6 or 7 weeks to lost the 10 pounds in the 280s. Longer than it should have taken. But now I'm motivated - like no other....I have an apt. on Oct. 4 to see Dr. Kim my surgeon. I fear him. I had to go into to see the nurse a couple of weeks ago and was told I was not on schedule and had started back on complex carbs too early. So no more rice, bread, pasta, potatoes, etc...for a while. I've started walking consistently and even made noon trips to Walgreen's (about a 2 mile walk round trip) in this god-awful Florida heat twice this week. I seriously fear my surgeon so I want to get off another 20 pounds  or so before D-day.

I've been doing some sightseeing lately on the weekends as usual. Here are some photos of recent trips to Old Town (cars - Orlando), Miami (Ibis bird and palm tree), the Brevard Zoo (Macaw)

An even 60

285.0

I've now lost a total of 60 pounds. It feels really good. The size 26 skirt I bought a month ago and couldn't get on yet is now feeling like its becoming too big. Or maybe it is fitting now and I'm so used to things being so tight on me that I don't remember what clothes that actually fit feel like.

Here's some pictures from last weekend. I went to Downtown Disney and Clearwater to see the sights. It was a very good weekend. I had a killer veggie sandwich from Wolfgang Puck Express at DD. Plus I indulged in a caramel apple. Boy did that thing taste good. I didn't need it but I sure wanted it and with all the walking, I justified having it.

280 here I come

289.0
I am back from my 10 day trip to Minnesota to see my family. I ate a lot of sugar while I was home. Something I don't really do much of down here in Florida. I thought for sure my weight would be up by 5-10 pounds, but I actually lost weight on my trip home. And I only threw up twice. Once for a wild rice hotdish that gave me horrible acid reflux and once for overeating lunch. Here are some pictures of the arboretum we went to.

Vacation Plans

I'm off to Minnesota for 10 days to see my family (mom, sisters, aunt, uncles) in just a couple of days. Because babysitters for my mom's dogs are needed if we go anywhere for a length of time, Dr. apts, and when my sister is off work - and because I like doing it, who am i kidding - I made an itinerary for the trip. I outlined the apts. and the wishful to-do list. It's pretty chock full of things and lots of driving to and fro.....but what struck me after reading and rereading my list in preparation and excitement of going "home" was that no where on this list was any food/restaurants mentioned. :)

7/2 Weekend update

290.0

Very happy with the weight. I was hoping to hit 290 before my trip coming up on Friday. It's the weight I was at one year ago for my art show. hard to believe that I put on and lost 55 pounds in a year. What was I thinking/doing?? Things got out of control very quickly. It now bring my total since surgery to 39.2 and overall to 55 pounds lost.

I was feeling pretty good about things (although I certainly wish the weight would come off faster) yesterday. Then I went on a day trip to St. Petersburg FL with a friend. She coaxed me into a photo booth for photos and I couldn't believe what 290 looks like. I was so internally upset after seeing myself. The chins is what got me. You'd think 55 would show more but I was aghast. I also got a very disapproving look from some lady at The Pier. I don't know what that was all about, but she gave me the up/down frowny face and I wanted to slug her and pull her hair. I wanted to yell "I've lost 55 pound biotch and I'm working on it."

Overall though it was a good day. I'm going to add in some protein shakes this week and I debated hitting the emergency room last night as I was severally dehydrated and had a monsterous headache. What stopped me was knowing how hard of a time they'd have sticking me for an IV. I was up at 2AM drinking water and watching tv just to get some fliuds in me. I have to be better about that this week.

Sunday, Jean and I went to St. Pete to see the new Dali museum and The Pier. She really had a good time. I had a hard time with the sun and heat (middle 90s). I was dehydrated as I stated before, so I was a little on the miserable side, but it was still fun. Photos to follow

Weekend update

291.6

I've been sick for about a week now. It's definately helped kick start the scale moving in the right direction though.I had another co-worker ask about my weight loss on Friday. I had to do some quick math when she asked me how much I've lost and it was then that I realized that I went over the 50 pound mark and didn't even notice. I've lost 53.4 pounds so far since my heaviest. Her mouth was agape when I told her. I don't think she expected that large of a number. She told me how wonderful I look. I was so happy about it. I haven't changed my clothes yet..I'm still in the same clothes I was in at 53.4 pounds heavier. So apparently it is noticeable even in the old clothes. I think I have about 10 more pounds left before shucking these clothes I'm in and refinding something smaller in my closet.

Numbers Numbers

Thought I'd share some progress today....here's the little ticker I keep at work. I don't record daily, just randomly. These are results since about early March (had surgery early April).

Small victories

I'm finally below 295. I'm at 292.6 right now and very happy about it. I lost 2 pounds in one day and someone told me it was a small victory to celebrate. I think I took it the wrong way. I felt really put out by it. I've been at about the same weight for 6 weeks. I felt like this was a huge accomplishment and to have that result in a single day. Why, that IS something to celebrate. It felt like a huge victory. Not a small one.

Lose a marathon - week 1 weigh in

Week 1 weigh in - 295.8. Looking forward to the challenge even though I am feeling a little under the weather today.

Lose a Marathon

Yes yes, I'm in. My first challenge that I've accepted. I'm very excited to see how this goes for me. Starting at 297.2..

Stricture Fun

I had my first endoscopy yesterday. They didn't find an ulcer but did find that I had a stricture, so they popped it back open for me. I found throwing up last night to have a much greater volume as a result. That was some dinner last night. When I got home from the Dr. about 2 o'clock I ate well. I had a good amount too. No problems at all. Then for dinner I had a spring roll. That's it, one leftover spring roll and I spent the next 4 hours throwing up about every 15 minutes. I think the regurg was pulling from my toes, I was heaving so hard. It was a very unpleasant evening.

Hopefully this solves some of the pain that I was having when eating.

I'm not sure how I'm doing on the scale front. Tuesday I saw a drop of about a half a pound which put me at my lowest since surgery, so I was stoked about that. I've been trying to stay off the scale since my stall was slowly driving me insane.

Hope everyone is having a great week. I'm looking forward to the weekend.

Following Directions

I did almost everything that I'm supposed to be doing (water, vitamins, protein, exercise) yesterday and guess what....today the scale hit the lowest mark since surgery. 297.2 - I'll take it. Maybe there is something to the Dr's advice afterall. Stay tuned...

Someone else noticed!

Today I saw a coworker that I haven't seen in months and she commented on how it looks like I've lost a lot of weight. I guess people that see you every day and see the changes little by little are less likely to notice. Someone that hasn't seen you in a long time, would be holding onto that last vision of you in their head, so the difference is more noticeable. Regardless, it felt nice and was from someone I wouldn't have expected.

Movie Popcorn

I went to the movie theatre last night and saw Snow White and the Huntsman. Man, movie graphics are getting so good these days. Constantly improving...So I got a small popcorn while at the movies. I had been mentally preparing myself all day and had a decent breakfast and lunch. Before heading to the multiplex, I thought about a MEDIUM popcorn and when the lady behind the counter offered to upgrade to a medium for just a dollar more, I thought about it for a split second..but I didn't think I'd be able to eat that much. I was right. I stuck with my small (so proud of myself) and couldn't finish that. It's such a small thing on the beginning on my journey, but I was so happy about a) sticking with my smaller size food portion b)not being able to finish it and c) hey, i saved a buck. yeah!

Regrouping today....

I haven't lost any weight in a month.

Therefore I need to regroup. Today I will:

• Focus on getting 80 oz of fluids



• Have a protein shake 3 times for 60 grams of protein a day




• Exercise for 30 minutes


I want to do this for the 2 1/2 weeks that my co-worker Caroline is out of the office and see what happens on the scale.

Sarasota Weekend

I was so excited to be getting out of town for the weekend. It's the only good thing about living here in Florida. There is so much to do and see. I started my adventure in Tampa, at the Taco Bus. I heard about it on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. It's a neat little place that serves Mexican food out of a school bus ala food truck style. I had checked the menu ahead of time and had my heart set on the fish tacos but alas they were no longer on the menu. So I ordered up some spicy shrimp and was amazed at the portion size. These seasoned shelled shrimp were mighty! And the green salsa on the side was a spice doosey. It took me about 4 mintues to eat about 4-5 good sized shrimp. And the next 40 minutes were spent heaving out my guts in various parking lots all over Tampa. I threw up in the parking lot, Wendy's parking lot, a gas station parking lot, and some printing company parking lot. I felt completely miserable and I'm pretty convinced it was the spices that did me in.


I was surprised at how difficult it was to eat on this trip. So many wonderful seafood restuarants on the Gulf coast and I couldn't enjoy any of it. At the motel I was all psyched for room service, only they didn't have it when I got there. So I went down to the pool area in my swimsuit and coverup. All 297.8 pounds of me in my black and white polka dot swimsuit. I had a ceasar salad at the tiki bar. Then I sat by the pool - too ashamed of myself to get in the pool. You see, there was a teen's birthday party going on. About 20 teenagers in the area and various parents and other patrons. I was the biggest one at the pool. I wanted to hide. So I did - I sat in a corner under an umbrella and waited for the area to clear. I really think I'm more conscious of my weight now that I was 45 pounds ago. I let it get to me, and I left the pool without ever getting in depite it be in the 90s. And on the way back to my room, feeling lonely and dejected, what did I want? To eat. I ordered delivery from some Italian place and had 2 side salads and a handful of yummy pasta tortellini with marinara sauce. It tasted good and was hot. I wanted more than I could actually eat. And then the last bite came up.
The next day brought the beach. That was very very nice and relaxing. Watching the sand crabs really freak me out though. Too much like spiders running around silently. For lunch I hit up Sweet Tomatoes. I love that place. But the $10 price tag was too much for what I ate. I had some various salads, a taste of the chowder, and 1/2 a bowl of the chili. I was done eating before the guy ahead on me in line even sat down.

After some more beach time in Longboat Key, I made it to Cortez. I had to pee at a McDonalds. I went in and ended up ordering a diet coke (small) and a McFishwich. It tasted so good but I only ate 1/2 as I didn't want to throw up. The rest I threw out the window and watched the seagulls fight over it. I kind of wish we had seagulls in Orlando. They are entertaining. But my favorite is watching the pelicans dive for fish. I don't know how they don't get hurt. Ohh I also saw 2 dolphins off the Venice pier. They were very close to the pier. At first I thought the fin I saw was a shark.

On the way back from Tampa I stopped and got a Subway tuna sandwich. I ate about 1/3 in the truck on the way home and then when home, peeled off 1/2 the bread and ate the rest. Not a bad weekend food wise but I was disappointed by my loneliness and the weight issues that kept me from doing things I wanted to do (get in the pool, get in the surf, walk on the beach, eat in a Gulf restuarant. But I did get some new duds at a Lane Bryant outlet and I can't wait to wear them. Teal and Yellow skirts that are super cute (size 26). Now if I can just get the scale moving again in the right direction. Today still at 297.8 - stalled again.

Today someone noticed

Today someone noticed the weight loss....and it felt really really good.

I can walk!

Why yes, I can walk....and last night I did. For the second time since surgery 8 weeks ago I actually went for a walk and got some exercise. And maybe a conincidence or because of the extra activity, today the scale was down further than yesterday. Since it's Florida and it's about to be summer here - the afternoon thunderstorms will be starting shortly. I have decided that I will walk on days when the weather looks clear. On the other days, I will have to find something else to do. My head knows that I have only a few short months to really maximize my weight loss after surgery so it is time to get busy and get regular.

When do people notice?

I've lost about 45 pounds since early March. When the heck do people start to notice? My pal Gwynne has lost 40 and it really shows, she is wearing clothes that fit her and look good. She looks amazing. She's also about 100 pounds lighter than I am. Again today, someone complimented her and went on and on about it. She deserves it. I just want to know when people are going to notice like that for me. Then again, when that happens, it makes me wonder if people DO notice, they just opt not to say something about it. Maybe to not draw attention to the fact that I have so much more or to lose. Why compliment the fat chick after all. Maybe it's my introverted personality. I don't really know. Nor do I really care all that much but it sure makes me wonder sometimes. I'll be sure to note in my blog if/when it does start to happen to me.

On another note: breakfast - about 2 oz of salmon

snack - crackers

lunch - 3/4 slice of thick crust pizza - peperoni from papa john's (work lunch)

Confused about Friends

I have this friend of mine for about the past year who I go back and forth on. In the beginning months we had some good times together but something happened and I don't know what that made me change my feelings towards her at some point.

She's the only friend of mine here in Florida that I didn't tell about the weight loss surgery prior to it. But I did tell her about a week after it. I didn't tell her before because I couldn't imagine that she would be happy for me. I figured she would see it as a competition since she is also overweight. I've got about 80 pounds on her so I don't really get the mindset but whatever...anywhoozle I saw her yesterday. It's the second time I've seen her since the surgery. We spent several hours together and I've lost a total of 45 pounds since my heaviest. I know it shows. But did she say anything to me about it? No....not until I was getting out of her car at my apt...she said "your shirt is loose". My response "yes it is". Why'd she have to say something negative to me? Couldn't she ask about the number of pounds or say it shows in my clothes or my face or something not quite as pick-aparty as what she did. I don't get it. Time for a little distance I think.

Feeling bad

Stepped on the scale today and my weight is up by about 3 pounds. Where did that come from? I guess maybe I've been grazing too much. No more of that. I bought these awesome new (red) small salad plates with a Japanese motiff and i'm going to use those from now on as my official dinner plate. If its not on that plate, it doesn't get ate...

Also I've been hitting the carbs pretty hard for the last week. Time to put an end to that.


I really need to start tracking my water. I know I'm dehydrated. The lump in my throat makes it not fun to swallow but I have to do better on this front.

I showered last night and couldn't believe the amount of hair that came from my head. It's so alarming. You can't tell yet on me but still it is very concerning and makes one feel bad even though it was expected. I am having a very rough day today.

Re..Re. Reguritation

Talk about head hunger. I think I really noticed it last night. I was so hungry and am so sick of what I have recently been eating that I decided to order out. I purchased A LOT of food last night. I knew I'd only be able to have a single bite of each thing I ordered (buffalo shrimp, mashed potatoes, pasta, fried cheese/brocolli bites) but old habits kicked in and I ordered what I wanted. I didn't even make it to opening the pasta as I threw up three times last night. I would eat, throw up, eat some more, throw up...three times. WTH is wrong with me.

Today I did better so far. I had a few of the shrimp this morning and didn't throw up. I've been seriously craving a really great tuna sandwich recently so I ran out to pita pit at lunch. On the way back to work I had 3 or maybe 4 normal bites and then put the rest of the thing in the fridge at work. So far so good. No throwing up.

Bad me I also bought a diet coke. I know, no carbonated beverages, but I wanted one so I did it. I have yet to drink it.

Upcoming endoscopy

So I am having some complications apparently. I just figured these things were part of the process, but my Dr. thinks that at 7 weeks post-op RYN, I shouldn't be having these problems. My biggest compliant is this feeling like I have a golf ball in the back of my throat. It doesn't hurt but it is annoying and it causes me to not want to eat or drink anything. It's just a constant lump. I remember having this feeling before when I had a hiatial hernia - which somehow just went away at some point in my life.

Also, I have this pain whenever I eat or drink anything..it feels like when it hits my pouch, that I have just swallowed a handful of razorblades. It's so uncomfortable. It definately helps with curbing the appetite. So endoscopy here I come..June 13. I hope my insurance covers this.

Dreaded Scale

Day 4 of this stall I seem to be in. Time for more protein and water and to start exercising. This weekend I will do good on all fronts and I will weigh in on Monday to see where I am at. I really think I need to stay off the scale more than I am..it's slowly driving me insane. I thought the weight would be flying off of me, but it isn't. This is the longest stall I've had so far. Most days I weigh the same two days in a row, then show a loss. Not right now and it's greatly affecting my mood. Someone had work yesterday said to me "when was the last time you lost 30 pounds in 6 weeks?" so yes, I should be happy and I am, I just want more. I feel like I'm killing myself - feeling sick all the time, just plain not feeling well, feeling like I'm swallowing razor blades when i eat or drink - for no progress on the scale. Some people have these stalls go on for weeks!

Stalled?

How do you know when you are stalled when you are actually in it? How many days must you see the same number on the scale to make it a stall? This is day 3 of seeing 299.8. Yes I am happy that I am down 29.4 pounds since surgery 6 weeks ago. Yes I am happy that I hit twoterville this week. But shouldn't I be losing at a faster clip than I am?

Eating and drinking both make me feel sick to my stomach. Every single swallow hurts my belly. I know I am not taking in the needed protein numbers. I had a shake today to get that up a little bit. And I know my numbers for water are not good. Although I feel thirsty, it hurts to drink and I've lost my love of water. I guess I have no other choice other than to become even more in tune with "my numbers" than just my weight. I am going to have to start tracking protein and water. And maybe calories as well. I know they say if your calories drop too much, you stall. Is this where I am at? I can't wait to start seeing some bigger numbers. I really wanted to hit 40 pounds off in 8 weeks but that is looking like an impossibility. What to do ...what to do...

No tomatoes for me

Oh man I feel sick. 6 weeks now since surgery and today was the first day that I threw up at work. Let's see its about 3 days now since I hurled into an empty bag while driving. And I was so darn excited to be eating my own caprese salad made with mozzerella, tomatoes, and fresh basil. I ate at my desk and fought it off for a good 20 minutes or so before deciding to go outside and puke behind a bush. But I didn't make it that far. I belined for the restroom and waited until I was alone so I could throw up in peace and quiet. It felt like someone squeezed a tomato in my throat as I felt every seed and piece of skin come up. About 4 good heaves later and I was done. I think it was the skins. They were bothering me as I was eating them and yesterday with some grapes as well. Oh well, I shall try it again in a month.

Twoterville today

Today my weight dropped below 300 el.bees. I'm so happy that finally happened for me. I walked about a mile on Sat after I bought some spanking brand new running shoes. They were spiffy and left a spiffy blister on my poor foot. They went back to the store on Sunday where I returned the one pair and left with two. Go figure. Hopefully one of these pairs works out better for me. It's time to start walking. Last night I told myself I was too tired to go for that 30minute walk.



I felt like I could have cried when I stepped off that scale this morning. Finally. Progress. I haven't been this weight since around last July so this is a very good thing.


Also, this is was my Andy mourning weight. At 300 was the weight I was at the last time I was with him. I was so sad over the past year and eating made me feel better. Not really but it helped to pass the lonely time. Now my Andy mourning weight is off and I can concentrate on the next 10 pounds which is my art show weight. Last July I weighed 290 for my art show. I want to get this off in the next two weeks so that my 2 month post-surgery weight loss will be 40 el.bees. Wish me luck!

Hole no more

I went in for my 6 week check up today. I left feeling better than I have felt in the past 6 weeks. Time to start exercising at night. I can't wait. I figure if I start by walking during the week, and save my nightly call to my mom for my walk, it will motivate me to get moving each night. I'm almost down 30 pounds. So freaking close. I took a Ducolax last night and the damn dam broke wide open. Even had my very own "sharting" incident which may be TMI but I believe in full disclosure. Anywoo, the pound that I but on by eating corporate pizza was flushed away and I am at an all new post-surgery low. 300.4. So close to getting out of the 300's. So excited. I'm going to reward myself with a mani/pedi when I break through that barrier. I think I'll go for green toenails.... So the Dr. closed up my hole where my incision had decided to break open. One stitch was all it took. I'll start on a round of Cipro as well. No more super itchy band-aids covering the wholiest of holes. I'm feeling good.

Weight Gain

My god today I stepped on the scale and it was up .8 from yesterday. Yesterday work paid for lunch so I had one slice of meatsa meatsa pizza in two settings. It could have been from the pizza. It also could be from the fact that I haven't pooped in 2 days. Getting concerned about that now. I have to weigh in for the Dr. Kim show tomorrow and I wanted to be under 300. I'm so close to my first goal for myself. The weight loss is so damn slow right now though. I need to up my protein and start exercising and maybe those things will help.

The hard part is just beginning

I had my surgery one month ago. Time flies. As of today I am down 23.8 pounds. That's great news. I understand that 20 pounds is about average for RNY in the first month of recovery. My surgery went well. I had to have a second surgery the following day to deal with a pesky blood clot that was growing in my belly. Now I know what they mean when the say the belly is rigid. You could have bounced quarters off that thing that day. Seriously though, I could barely stand because I was so weak. They took me to imaging in a wheel chair and I couldn't stay awake during the ride. It was pretty bad. I didn't know I was slowly bleading out, only that I felt really lousy and tired. I am so grateful for my sister Cheryl. I don't know that I would have survived that week of hell without her being there. She slept in my room with me. Walked with me, rubbed my back and feet. Helped me out of bed every time. She was an angel. Thank you Cheryl. She even extended her stay by a few days to help me get on my feet at home. I was in the hospital having surgery on Monday and was released at noon on Friday. Since the surgery I have been in a moderate amount of pain. Hungry all the time and now that I am on soft foods I find that I want to eat more than I should. And so I throw it up. It's happened 5 or 6 times now. I just can't pass up that last bite and it all comes back up on me. What a drag to come this far and have that happen. I need to start moving my body some now that the pain is subsiding some. It'll help the weight come off and maybe it will tire me out to the point where I get a good nights sleep. Something that eludes me these days. Stay tuned to my progress. It really is a rollercoaster of a ride.

Encroaching

My date is coming up. Next Monday. 1 week from today. That is, if my surgeon says its ok. Instead of losing 30 pounds, I gained 15. Now I'm down about 10 of that. I'm really nervous that he is going to postpone the surgery. Two more nights without any sleep until I have a decision.

Cleared for surgery

I've got my cardiac clearance for surgery. My weight is up to around 340. (tied with Andy now). Now I have to get serious about losing weight before the surgery. My last meal was olive garden. I can't believe how much my mood has changed today. This is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm so excited right now. Things are finally moving when for weeks I felt like it was never going to happen for.

Now I get a surgery date, have to pay, blood work, chest x-ray, nutrition class. It's moving and shaking. Now I need to be to get some weight off so my fatty liver goes down a notch or two.

By the way, the Dr. told me today that I am pre-diabetic. I know that losing 10% of my body weight will help with that. Now I have a goal. 10% of my extra weight is about 20 pounds. Can I do that before my surgery date? Stay tuned.

New Scale

Altough I don't feel like I've lost any weight recently, my new bathroom scale (my old one died) registered in today at 320.6. This will be my new starting point. I want to get to 300 before the surgery.

Old list

I found an old list in a notebook of mine. Since I'm ready to ditch that notebook, I thought I'd copy my thoughts here instead.

* Not feel ashamed when taking an elevator
* Be able to take the stairs everyday
* Get off blood pressure medicine
* Buy clothes that fit me (instead of too big ones)
* Not feel self-conscious at the grocery store
* Get Jason to look at me (he does to everyone else)
* Fit in my awesome new biker clothes
* Not hide from the work kitchen group
* Have my awesome new biker clothes become too big
* Stop craving sweets
* Wear my leather skirt
* Wear my black and blue shirt
* Wear my tights
* Get rid of backfat
* Look nice in a tank top
* Wear high heels
* Make women jealous
* Get nice compliments
* Get rid of shelf ass
* Feel less self-conscious at the pool
* Be less afraid to do things alone

Liquids

I'm starting the Phase 2 diet tomorrow taking in only liquids and dairy starting tomorrow night. This should be good. I plan to go for 2 weeks on this. So far I haven't done so well on Phase 1 (basically cut your meals in half). I find I want to eat everything in sight since I know I will be giving this up after surgery.

Dr. Heart

I saw the cardiologist yesterday. He was a little on the arrogant side but overall pretty decent. I got the feeling that he's seen me in there before (my type), at my wits end, not knowing which way to turn for help to lose some weight, and hoping for a miracle cure. He gave me some shit about the band not working because of diet choices and asked me to explain the upcoming surgery to him. WTF. Whatever dude..desptie what you think I'm going to be the fucking poster child for gastric bypass surgery. That's right bitches. Go ahead and doubt me. It fuels the fire inside of me.

The First Five

So I'm down 5 pounds in 8 days on Nutrisystem. I'm trying to use up the box of food I have so when I have the surgery, I don't have a ton of it sitting around tempting me. Plus my tastes may change, so I hear, and I may not be able to eat the food at all so it'd be a huge waste of money. I found making all of these changes at once was just too damn hard so I'm doing it little by little. Here is a list:
* Eat less
* Drink 80 oz of water every day
* Exercise 30 min or more every day
* Calcium pills
* Vitamins
* Protein, protein, protein
* No carbonated beverages
* No drinking with meals
* No alcohol

Heart Apt.

The next step is an apt with a cardiologist. I have my apt. scheduled for the 25th. So far I've lost .6 of a pound because I found that making all of these changes as one time was near impossible so I am trying to implement things little by little now. I have already given up carbonated beverages. No easy task. This week I am focusing on drinking tea and taking my medications and supplements as I should be. Other things to tackle include: eating less, then moving to adding dairy daily, then adding protein drinks, drinking 80 oz of fluid every day and trying to learn to take smaller sips, adding in exercise, then going full bore into the Phase II diet plan which is mostly liquid protein drinks.

So I'll take that .6 because it shows my first step. I look forward to getting on the scale tomorrow now.

Starting in at....

331.0

That's my start weight. They want me to lose 30 pounds before surgery. So that's probably 10 weeks away then. I have to get bloodwork, a cardiac clearance, an EKG, and other things. I feel so discouraged today. I haven't felt this much like a failure yet. Tomorrow is a new day. Today the diet starts.

Caffine Machine

In preparation for a new lifestyle where caffeinated beverages are non-existant to me, I am cutting back to 1 per day until my surgery day is set. So far (2 days in) I am having severe headaches in the middle of the night. But it's just one little step for me. I will still be able to enjoy flattened sodas but we'll just see how that tastes. It may not be worth it.